I got the notion a couple of weeks ago. SKIP THANKSGIVING. It was a voice in my head, the same one that tells me to get a beer for the road and that it doesn't hurt to talk about Ron Paul with a stripper. But the voice came strong, like a star of Heroes right before a commercial break. {{{ SKIP THANKSGIVING }}} it said.

I've officially banned holidays this year. Christmas is already booked in Jamaica. I had a rubbish time at Xmas last year due to the death of the GREATEST DOG EVER and while it sounds harsh I went for a 2fer and went fishing and surfing in Central America instead of doing the Thanksgiving thing.

I packed a backpack full of cigars, my PSP, sunscreen and bug spray and flew out solo at 6am on Thanksgiving morning. Two planes and a car ride into the jungle later I was on a beach near the equator.

So I surfed. Then I fished. In 3 hours I caught 10 tuna and 2 mahi mahi, as well as an eel, red snapper and some other weird fish.

I spent the entire summer catching NOTHING off of my beach here in New York, and it was great to catch a bunch of fish and hand out massive tunas to some locals. I kept two and ate fresh sashimi on the beach for 2 days.

Here's a mahi mahi I caught.

posted by lazlow at 10:45 PM  on Wednesday, November 28, 2007

posted by lazlow at 10:51 PM  on Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Dear hippies,

Fuck you and your tofu. You see, I cut my hair last week - it has been past my shoulders for over 10 years. The same week I went to get a physical, as i am constantly convinced i am dying from my horrible lifestyle of enjoying myself. I took the physical, the Dr. said if I don't hear anything then I'm fine. I eat a lot of tofu, I prayed, so i should be ok. Right?

This weekend i received a horrible letter from the Dr. saying that he needed to see me to discuss the results. So I spent the whole weekend assuming I have cancer and preparing my lines. You have to have good lines if you're going to be told you have weeks to live. First I prepared to tell my chick that I needed to spend my last few weeks in a brothel and I hope that she understood that it wasn't me, it was the sickness. Then I thought I could plan a really amazing party for my funeral, and spend all of my life insurance money to book an amazing lineup of bands. I'd probably have to go with Phil Lesh and Friends plus G Love and Special Sauce. They would come out and bring down the house, with me in a casket on the stage and when it got really rocking, people would take me out and I would crowd surf to the back as a corpse. Fantastic.

So I call furiously this morning, they tell me I have to come in person, so I say I can be there in five minutes. It's right next to my Manhattan studio, so I head over, wait for half an hour reading comic books, get taken to the back and sit in a room for a while. The Dr comes in and says they are having trouble getting the results from the lab, so he calls them while I'm in the room.

Hi this is Dr. soandso looking for results......yes verbal please.

Uh huh.

Uh huh. (He scribbles things down)

Uh huh.

. . . . .

He thanks them and hangs up and says, "Well..." then lets it fade off.

My fucking cholesterol is too high. This is just like when I got my AIDS test and they made a big deal about not telling me over the phone and I come in and they act all weird and then finally I get the news. Sorry, you're not dying. Dude, you could have told me over the phone.

But it seems that tofu is farking me up too. Too much protein. Don't eat an egg for breakfast. Don't eat tofu in Indian curry sauce for lunch. Don't drink beer and have a cigar at dinner. Fuck. How miserable. They do it in Europe and they live longer than us, but then again they have national health care. Maybe if we had national health care i could have an omelet and a cigar for breakfast. God that sounds awesome. So go screw hippies, I'm done with tofu.

posted by lazlow at 10:08 PM  on Monday, November 19, 2007

I've been so busy working on a couple of projects, most notably GTA IV and Manhunt2, that i haven't really had time to post.

But please check out the sound design I did on the wicked awesome trailer

posted by lazlow at 1:32 PM  on Thursday, November 8, 2007

Every time i have been close to posting it's been in a rage at what the idiotic asshats in the White House and Congress are doing while our economy continues to slide into oblivion. Watching people who will, at every turn, get up in your face about how Christian they are then veto and vote against legislation to give health care to poor children is really beyond irony. However there seems to be plenty of money to give to defense companies that make devices and weapons that turn children into hamburger.

I'm really bored with the dark cloud over America at the moment. Debating whether or not it's OK to torture people is ludicrous. Debating whether it's ok for the government to monitor EVERYTHING you do online is even more insane. Now the companies that let the government track every piece of traffic sent over the internet(including email that YOU sent) are pushing for legislation that would make them immune to being punished for it.

posted by lazlow at 1:14 PM